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I have an idea that I want to write about BUT it is a rather personal issue. I tried to write about it but could not go through with it, the silly thing is I have written about it in the past but did not give it the time needed to do it justice. Before anyone worries its not something bad or something evil done to me. To put it simply it was a scary/paralzing fear situation I had as a child and something that still causes me fear today.. So what am I so afraid of.. lighthouses. YUP. The tall round kind is what freaks me the most and I ahve no clue and no reason why. I have been in two lighthouses as a child, first one they did not make me go into as children werent allowed to climb the stairs, so I played outside happily, the second one I was allowed in and totally freaked out.
So is there a way for me to right about this without inducing a panic attack (just seeing a light house in a book sends chills down my spine.
Any suggestions would be great, I WANT to do this as a horror short story since well the feel I can write about is um real and thus I can describe it.
Yes I do realise it is a stupid fear to have..:)

My idea of hell is being trapped in a room with no books!

I know this might sound a bit out there (would possibly cure you of your fear also), but print off a picture of a lighthouse that scares the daylights out of you, put it by your computer and write about what it makes you feel, you can use this in your story. Once you have written what you need, screw up the picture and burn it!

Are you afraid of heights, or was it the emptiness of the lighthouse that got to you?

Just remember: No fear is stupid if it is real to you.

"You will never get published if you don't write." Said Kerry Mead (my darling husband!)

WIP - Book III - The Rise of the Chrystias 58326 / 50000 words (First draft)
Total word count - 158543!

I am afraid of heights but I know how it feels so I can tell it was not that which afflicted me.
I was not able to force myself to walk up more then 6 steps and sometimes I find it hard to go up spiral staircases because they remind me of lighthouses..
I dont think it was the emptiness as I was not looking up just mainly at the stairs.
I will try to idea you suggested but it may take awhile since I freak out..I once dropped a book on my foot because it had a lighthouse in it and took me by surprise..

My idea of hell is being trapped in a room with no books!

Can I ask why you're having trouble writing about it? I mean, is it the thought of the lighthouse that's scaring you? If so, maybe just try to channel all of that fear into your story... Don't worry about making it coherent, just write the terror you're feeling and then later on, you could mold and change it to fit the story.

I know how it feels to have a stupid fear, by the way. I am petrified of bees and heights, and you wouldn't believe the mocking I get.

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I think the best way to describe why I am unable to write it is because it gives me mini panic attacks, when they happens I get up and walk around which I think sets off my flight instinct and I end up taking a long walk with no intention of writing about it again for awhile. I was going to do it for last weeks challenge but after 3 lines I was out of there, and took me all week to even ask about it. I was going to do it for the Zing thing challenge but just stopped and ended up doing something else.
IF I could get it out, then yes the pure fear of what I feel will make a great story, plus very personal and I think once it is out I might have better luck controlling my fear.
Its just one of those unfounded fears, totally illogical and totally dumb.
My hubby teases me alot about it, least bees can hurt you.
*sighs*
Thanks for the help, I will try it tomorrow night.
Once it is written if anyone is interested I will let them read it.

My idea of hell is being trapped in a room with no books!

Gosh xengab my sister-in-law was a lighthouse keepers wife, (before she remarried - my brother.) Her father was a lighthouse keeper before that, so she has been bought up in a fairly solitary life on islands away from the mainland. She bought up her own family, schooling them and she was extremely upset when they took manpower away from the job and she had to live on shore. Even now she lives near the sea, so she can still be at one with it.
It could be the spiral staircase that affects you, I don't have a fear of heights, but when visiting castles in the UK, I didn't like the spiral effect, probably because I can't see where I am going. Yet I love the architectural style of them, until I saw that old movie, 'The Spiral Staircase' there was always a shadow on them.
It would be good to get those fears down, even just a little bit at a time.
Good luck it will be interesting to read what you come up with.
Strange how different fears affect different people.

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Wow, xengab. I'm really in awe of how you've tried and tried to start writing this story and how much you really want to. It sounds like by writing the story you will go a long way to overcoming your fear.

Maybe you could try writing a short piece about a lighthouse that isn't scary, maybe it adds something you really love into the mix and see how that goes. Then you could build up to the scary story you want to write.

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Reminds me of staff day at work where I had to ask my coworker to removed her jacket because it was covered with little lighthouses painted on it.. Was just too distracting for me to deal with.
I have written the first bit so far but have yet to get to the actual lighthouse part.. Mu hubby keeps being annoying and trying to read what I am writing while I am writing it.
Funny thing is, my mum does not even remember the situation very well, she knew I did not go up but figured it was because of my fear of heights (which I have overcome pretty well).
I remember at the time she thought I was just trying to get attention/ being silly.

My idea of hell is being trapped in a room with no books!

I was talking to my mum lastnight and brought up the subject of my lighthouse fear. She told me where the lighthouse was, Kangeroo Island. I finally found out why my sister was not around (she was outside and did not wish to climb all those stairs!)
My mum also does not really remember me freaking out but does remember that I was not at the top with her and my dad. LOL
I should mention that I have never talked about this fear much with anyone in the family, since going to lighthouses was not something we really did.
BUT I did remember another strange fear I had and have come up with a way to write about both in one weird scary story.. so um YAY to fears..hehe

My idea of hell is being trapped in a room with no books!

By discussing it with your family and sharing it with us at KiwiWriter AND writing about it, you may find that you conquer both of these fears and by the time you finish the story you will probably look about and feel proud of your accomplishments.

I think you have done a wonderful thing by sharing your fear with us.

"You will never get published if you don't write." Said Kerry Mead (my darling husband!)

WIP - Book III - The Rise of the Chrystias 58326 / 50000 words (First draft)
Total word count - 158543!