Critique & Review

I always thought letting someone read my work for the first time would be like baring my soul, as I have been a closet writer for over 20 years. No one has read any of my work apart from at college when 1 teacher gave me some encouragement. So I guess I need to know if I can actually write well! I dont normally do poetry, and I've only attepted it recently for a novel I'm writing, but I would like some honest critique. Thanks!!


One Moment

Where are you now
Are you free of lifes cares, despairs
Are you alone
Or with others already gone?

Can you see me
My misery
You left me alone
I rage at your memory
How could you do that to me
Betrayal tainting the history of us
Our absolute love

I will find you again
When time chooses me
Or when I choose time
As you did
One moment, one breath away
From you
I need to ask you
Why?

Good on you for putting your writing out there!

I don't know a lot about poetry so I'm not sure I can give you a critique as such but I can say what I got out of it.

I liked it. It clearly evoked a sense of grief, betrayal, longing but also caution from being hurt.

It would be great inspiration for a romance novel. :)

No Excuses. Just Write.
WIP - Freeing the Flame: 31/66 scenes of scene review #3.
Eve's Vineyard: 3,375/6,000 (Sept Zing Thing)

Thanks Kerryn for your reply! I need to know how others see my work, as it is easy to get stuck with our own vision of how it appears, I guess. Hey, and I dont know anything about poetry either! This was only my 3rd attempt. Cheers!